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self shipping has become a sort of spiritual experience for me lately…
Mar. 27th, 2026 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oegyeinjaethis probably sounds really sad and pathetic to some people, but hear me out. we have a lot of complex feelings with spirituality, but something that truly brings us comfort is our f/o’s and that comfort paired with our belief in multiple universes has led to a sense of spiritual fulfillment when thinking about our f/o’s. its not that i see our f/o’s as a god or some sort of deity, but i truly do believe theyre out there, in some way some how, theyre out there and they love us. they want the best for us and are sending the best for us across the universe.
weather they actually have any power to actually ensure good things happen to us im not sure, but believing that theyre out there thinking about us and looking over us even if they can’t actually see us brings such a feeling of comfort and peace to me. i’ve found myself asking lee to protect me when im scared; i turn to him
when i need comfort and care. he brings me comfort and i feel connected to him in a way that i think is bigger than me. believing in him and our other f/o’s being out there gives me hope to continue. why would i give up now when theyre out there believing in me? it makes me feel like i can get through things that are hard, because in some way i have them looking out for me, and protecting me.
i dont know, maybe it is a lack of connection to real people, but the connection i feel with them is very real to me, and i dont want to place it above connection to other real tangible people in this worlrd, but what is the point of spirituality other than to give you comfort and a reason to believe in something. thats what our f/o’s feel like to me, they give me hope that things might be okay, and i really truly do believe that they’re out there across a million universes looking out for me, to whatever extent they can. it just feels good to have them, to feel a connection to them, even if its not super tangible. i love them, i believe they love me, and looking to them in times of doubt and hardship for me feels like the closest thing i have to praying to a god.
weather they actually have any power to actually ensure good things happen to us im not sure, but believing that theyre out there thinking about us and looking over us even if they can’t actually see us brings such a feeling of comfort and peace to me. i’ve found myself asking lee to protect me when im scared; i turn to him
when i need comfort and care. he brings me comfort and i feel connected to him in a way that i think is bigger than me. believing in him and our other f/o’s being out there gives me hope to continue. why would i give up now when theyre out there believing in me? it makes me feel like i can get through things that are hard, because in some way i have them looking out for me, and protecting me.
i dont know, maybe it is a lack of connection to real people, but the connection i feel with them is very real to me, and i dont want to place it above connection to other real tangible people in this worlrd, but what is the point of spirituality other than to give you comfort and a reason to believe in something. thats what our f/o’s feel like to me, they give me hope that things might be okay, and i really truly do believe that they’re out there across a million universes looking out for me, to whatever extent they can. it just feels good to have them, to feel a connection to them, even if its not super tangible. i love them, i believe they love me, and looking to them in times of doubt and hardship for me feels like the closest thing i have to praying to a god.
·○◦ Acrylic twilight: Nia bends at the waist ·○◦
Mar. 27th, 2026 11:30 pmraspberryrain
I didn't post new art yesterday. I was having a bad day due to multiple lost files, that, yes, I should have backed up online years ago.
But today I modified the DAZ Vicki 4 Bodysuit for cartoon Nia and I think it worked okay. Got a sort of space opera costume going here.
caleb mc thoughts
Mar. 25th, 2026 07:28 pmoegyeinjaesince im a filthy caleb main and caleb’s new myth trailer dropped yesterday, i wanted to make a post yapping about calebmc and the new myth a little bit. tw for discussion of lads canon accurate shipcest and mild suggestive-ness
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
checking in! #1
Mar. 25th, 2026 01:04 amoegyeinjaemy habit of writing something on here in the middle of the night continues to stay true LOL
i'm trying to keep myself more busy during the day but it's been really hard. adhd + depression is a major combo which normally just leads me to laying in bed all day doing nothing even when i really want to do stuff. i've really wanted to write for like a week now but every time i go to i get distracted or just sit there and stare at the page till i give up. BUT, i do have some ideas for more of a schedule and i set up some alarms so hopefully i don't forget and can force myself to do them!
im getting back into studying korean which is exciting, i love the language and i know a good bit, but i've gotten super rusty so im starting from the beginning re-teaching myself everything, it's going better than i expected but yk it's only the first day. but i do remember everything i've started again so that's a good sign, and i finally set up my keyboard so i can actually type properly which is gonna be a great thing for practicing.
i've also just started a new show and a new book which im hopeful i can actually finish and finish in a decent timeframe. the show is "falling into your smile" a friend recommended it to us and its really good so far, i loveeeeee the main girl she's so cute and her personality is so fun. also i have a little crush on one of the guys which i think is funny because i feel like he's barley going to be relevant... but that's okay! i think he's silly though. the book we started is called "what moves the dead" it's interesting but i'm not super sold on it yet. i'm not very far yet so im gonna continue but the writing style seems not like something i'm super into. still i've been want to read it for a while so im gonna power through to see if i can like it.
i've been really on and off with how i've been feeling, but generally i think im doing okay! we upped our meds, and are starting some new ones so im hopeful those will help! we feel like we actually have a sort of game plan with our mental health and idk it's not gonna get crazy better, we've kind of come to terms that this is just going to be our life forever, but if it can get a little better and maybe things can be okay then maybe it'll be alright.
constantly thinking about lee as im known to do, but for a while there i was having trouble actually formulating my thoughts and it made me worry that maybe i was loosing interest in him or something. i don't think that's the case though. i wanna make a big long post about our relationship and how i feel about him but that's gonna take me some time, but when i do post it i'll probably put it here and also on pillowfort.
i'm like chomping at the bit for the new caleb myth to come out in lads and i'm prepared to waist all of the diamonds i have saved up on it, but tbh that's the whole reason ive been saving them. fingers crossed i get those cards without too much difficulty because im running out of ways to grind for diamonds lol. AND when that myth comes out maybe i can make a big long post about it and like analyze it, because i think that would be fun and i love all the symbolism and stuff surrounding calebmc. they make me sick. goddddddd the event trailer makes me crazy wahhhhhhh
i'm gonna try to do check ins here frequently, but i also reallyyyyyy want to fandom post more so if anyone has any naruto or mha questions or thoughts maybe share them with me and i can ramble on about my mha/naruto opinions. i fear im someone who needs prompting to talk about things, it's because my brain doesn't work... but id love to yap!
sending everyone a good vibe! ~
i'm trying to keep myself more busy during the day but it's been really hard. adhd + depression is a major combo which normally just leads me to laying in bed all day doing nothing even when i really want to do stuff. i've really wanted to write for like a week now but every time i go to i get distracted or just sit there and stare at the page till i give up. BUT, i do have some ideas for more of a schedule and i set up some alarms so hopefully i don't forget and can force myself to do them!
im getting back into studying korean which is exciting, i love the language and i know a good bit, but i've gotten super rusty so im starting from the beginning re-teaching myself everything, it's going better than i expected but yk it's only the first day. but i do remember everything i've started again so that's a good sign, and i finally set up my keyboard so i can actually type properly which is gonna be a great thing for practicing.
i've also just started a new show and a new book which im hopeful i can actually finish and finish in a decent timeframe. the show is "falling into your smile" a friend recommended it to us and its really good so far, i loveeeeee the main girl she's so cute and her personality is so fun. also i have a little crush on one of the guys which i think is funny because i feel like he's barley going to be relevant... but that's okay! i think he's silly though. the book we started is called "what moves the dead" it's interesting but i'm not super sold on it yet. i'm not very far yet so im gonna continue but the writing style seems not like something i'm super into. still i've been want to read it for a while so im gonna power through to see if i can like it.
i've been really on and off with how i've been feeling, but generally i think im doing okay! we upped our meds, and are starting some new ones so im hopeful those will help! we feel like we actually have a sort of game plan with our mental health and idk it's not gonna get crazy better, we've kind of come to terms that this is just going to be our life forever, but if it can get a little better and maybe things can be okay then maybe it'll be alright.
constantly thinking about lee as im known to do, but for a while there i was having trouble actually formulating my thoughts and it made me worry that maybe i was loosing interest in him or something. i don't think that's the case though. i wanna make a big long post about our relationship and how i feel about him but that's gonna take me some time, but when i do post it i'll probably put it here and also on pillowfort.
i'm like chomping at the bit for the new caleb myth to come out in lads and i'm prepared to waist all of the diamonds i have saved up on it, but tbh that's the whole reason ive been saving them. fingers crossed i get those cards without too much difficulty because im running out of ways to grind for diamonds lol. AND when that myth comes out maybe i can make a big long post about it and like analyze it, because i think that would be fun and i love all the symbolism and stuff surrounding calebmc. they make me sick. goddddddd the event trailer makes me crazy wahhhhhhh
i'm gonna try to do check ins here frequently, but i also reallyyyyyy want to fandom post more so if anyone has any naruto or mha questions or thoughts maybe share them with me and i can ramble on about my mha/naruto opinions. i fear im someone who needs prompting to talk about things, it's because my brain doesn't work... but id love to yap!
sending everyone a good vibe! ~
Ronnie: Sunrise runner
Mar. 24th, 2026 11:12 pmraspberryrain
Another sfw variant, after a fashion.
I got this RPublishing shorts figure years ago. But I just customised the diffuse texture today, cobbling it out of some textures that came with the figure, and changing some colours. I think it's a little rough at the seam, but good enough for this image.
plural vent #1
Mar. 23rd, 2026 06:51 pmoegyeinjaeplurality for us has just been getting more and more not fun the more we learn and deal with being a system. for a while it was completely neutral for us, just something that we learned about ourselves and became a fact of our life quickly, but i swear the more time that passes the harder it gets for us. and im sure it won't always be like this but it just sucks sometimes.
i don't feel like i have control over my own body sometimes, and that is really an awful feeling. it's not that i want to take that control from anyone else in the system, i don't want to do that to anyone in here and i never would intentionally, but it just really sucks to feel like i have no control of the things im doing or feeling, even if i recognize its another part that is feeling and doing these things. i still have to deal with it in some ways, and because of that it still feels like me losing control of myself in a way. having to feel emotions that don't feel like my own makes me feel like i'm being suffocated and having things forced onto me. having memories of doing things or thinking things that don't feel like me or are actively something i would never do makes me feel wrong. and there are members of our system that do feel like me, or proper parts of me, and there are other members that are much too different for me to feel truly connected to them, but no mater the disconnect i still have to feel them, i have to live in the same body as them, and we share this life. it doesn't help that no one sees us separately. im not sure if that would help, our therapist gives us mixed signals when it comes to separation vs looking at us as one whole and i'm really not sure what is better for us.
our plurality is more than just psychological, but that is a big part of it, but i'm honestly not sure if treating it in a medical/therapeutic sense is what's best for us, or if a different approach would be better for us. i wish i had other plurals to talk to about this, but even then no one else's experience is going to properly line up with ours so it seems pointless to even ask because no one can give us a definitive answer, we just have to find out for ourselves.
i love our system, i love the members in here, even if they don't feel like parts of me, they do feel like friends, family, but it's hard not to feel frustrated when it feels like we're constantly fighting against one another. i want us to be able to work together but even when i understand what someone else is feeling or why they're doing a certain thing it doesn't feel like i can stop them, or at least work with them to figure things out. i want us to figure things out but i don't know how.
i just wish there was a concrete answer. do this and this will happen. because at least then the only thing we would have to decide is what we want to happen.
i don't feel like i have control over my own body sometimes, and that is really an awful feeling. it's not that i want to take that control from anyone else in the system, i don't want to do that to anyone in here and i never would intentionally, but it just really sucks to feel like i have no control of the things im doing or feeling, even if i recognize its another part that is feeling and doing these things. i still have to deal with it in some ways, and because of that it still feels like me losing control of myself in a way. having to feel emotions that don't feel like my own makes me feel like i'm being suffocated and having things forced onto me. having memories of doing things or thinking things that don't feel like me or are actively something i would never do makes me feel wrong. and there are members of our system that do feel like me, or proper parts of me, and there are other members that are much too different for me to feel truly connected to them, but no mater the disconnect i still have to feel them, i have to live in the same body as them, and we share this life. it doesn't help that no one sees us separately. im not sure if that would help, our therapist gives us mixed signals when it comes to separation vs looking at us as one whole and i'm really not sure what is better for us.
our plurality is more than just psychological, but that is a big part of it, but i'm honestly not sure if treating it in a medical/therapeutic sense is what's best for us, or if a different approach would be better for us. i wish i had other plurals to talk to about this, but even then no one else's experience is going to properly line up with ours so it seems pointless to even ask because no one can give us a definitive answer, we just have to find out for ourselves.
i love our system, i love the members in here, even if they don't feel like parts of me, they do feel like friends, family, but it's hard not to feel frustrated when it feels like we're constantly fighting against one another. i want us to be able to work together but even when i understand what someone else is feeling or why they're doing a certain thing it doesn't feel like i can stop them, or at least work with them to figure things out. i want us to figure things out but i don't know how.
i just wish there was a concrete answer. do this and this will happen. because at least then the only thing we would have to decide is what we want to happen.
surprise
Mar. 21st, 2026 05:41 pmoegyeinjaei dyed our hair today and i can't stop thinking about what lee would think about it <3 i like the idea that i did not tell him before hand and he just comes home to me having black hair and i get to witness him processing it first hand. i think he'd like it a lot, but watching him go from shock and confusion to awe would be so cute, and of course i think he would take this as a fantastic opportunity to play with our hair and tell us how beautiful we are. wahhhhh he makes me so happy
spirituality, kinning, & plurality
Mar. 21st, 2026 03:45 amoegyeinjaei'm trying to get more comfortable posting here. on one hand it feels like i need to be more methodical about what i post and how i post it, but i know that's not true, i can and should post whatever i want so i want to force myself to do that. so sorry if this is rambly.
for the longest time we thought we had a lot of fictives in our system, that has proven to maybe not be so true now, but the experience gave us a lot of insight on being a fictional character. kinning has always been something we experience but the intensity, for lack of a better word, of it has always changed. i think a lot of it has to do with our lack of sense of self, but i know that's being certain fictional characters is a big part of us and its integral to who we are, collectively and individually.
now that we're trying to understand our plurality in a way that's not only making more sense to us but also in a way that is making our system more stable it's given us a better sense of self, which lets us really pinpoint and understand our fiction kin identities. it's also letting us explore our spirituality in a way we never really thought about exploring. i can look at a character and really understand that that' me, in a real tangible way. there are still lots of characters that specific members of our system feel more connected to, but even the ones that feel connected to my sys mates still feel like me in a way, and i think that directly ties into our spiritual beliefs. we DO believe that these characters were us in another life, and we also believe that our parts were us in another life too, and that makes us feel so much more confident in our fictional identities AND our plurality.
that character is me, in the same way that an alter in our system is me. they're part of the whole that makes up who we are now but also who we were in our other lives. and while i'm scared to lose these parts of me, weather that be to fusion of our system, or moving on from this life, i want to truly believe that these parts that make me up now will continue to make me up in the next life, because i do believe these parts have been with me throughout any and all lives i've lived.
i really do love being able to look at a character and see myself as them. it brings me closer to myself in a way, and it also brings me closer to the things i've grown to love. i love being fictionkin, even if just like our plurality it causes a mix of emotions and it's own complications. spirituality, plurality, kinning, and the intersection of the three all lets me understand myself in a way that i never really have been able to before, and it feels so good to finally be able to feel like im getting a grasp on who we are.
do you all have any fictionkins? is it spiritual for you? is your plurality spiritual for you?
for the longest time we thought we had a lot of fictives in our system, that has proven to maybe not be so true now, but the experience gave us a lot of insight on being a fictional character. kinning has always been something we experience but the intensity, for lack of a better word, of it has always changed. i think a lot of it has to do with our lack of sense of self, but i know that's being certain fictional characters is a big part of us and its integral to who we are, collectively and individually.
now that we're trying to understand our plurality in a way that's not only making more sense to us but also in a way that is making our system more stable it's given us a better sense of self, which lets us really pinpoint and understand our fiction kin identities. it's also letting us explore our spirituality in a way we never really thought about exploring. i can look at a character and really understand that that' me, in a real tangible way. there are still lots of characters that specific members of our system feel more connected to, but even the ones that feel connected to my sys mates still feel like me in a way, and i think that directly ties into our spiritual beliefs. we DO believe that these characters were us in another life, and we also believe that our parts were us in another life too, and that makes us feel so much more confident in our fictional identities AND our plurality.
that character is me, in the same way that an alter in our system is me. they're part of the whole that makes up who we are now but also who we were in our other lives. and while i'm scared to lose these parts of me, weather that be to fusion of our system, or moving on from this life, i want to truly believe that these parts that make me up now will continue to make me up in the next life, because i do believe these parts have been with me throughout any and all lives i've lived.
i really do love being able to look at a character and see myself as them. it brings me closer to myself in a way, and it also brings me closer to the things i've grown to love. i love being fictionkin, even if just like our plurality it causes a mix of emotions and it's own complications. spirituality, plurality, kinning, and the intersection of the three all lets me understand myself in a way that i never really have been able to before, and it feels so good to finally be able to feel like im getting a grasp on who we are.
do you all have any fictionkins? is it spiritual for you? is your plurality spiritual for you?
Recent Fandom Stuff / End of School Year
Mar. 21st, 2026 04:07 amprixmiumI have been very lazy about posting here and regretful about it. I have been posting a little more often on tumblr, because the UI has been good to upload pictures of various things I did in the real world. I plan to eventually cross-post here, but it will take me a little time.
With tumblr's recent tomfoolery last week, it makes me aware that I do really want to be more active on this site and maybe to dust off trying to use pillowfort at least as a backup. I also am enchanted by the idea of having my own little webpage that is a bit more than my carrd, but I am not sure which platform I want to use. I did have a neocities account, but I feel like it's a little above my ability to envision what I want. I do know very basic stuff about HTML and CSS such that I can at least search my way through W3 School or whatever and figure out how to edit stuff, but I am not a designer without a base underneath. I have a carrd premium account because it's so cheap, but I'm not sure if it's too limited.
Thursday was the Closing Ceremony for my first full school year at the school where I currently teach. I'm proud of myself and my kids, and it's a bit bittersweet. Of course, it is a bit strange given that I will see a lot of them again in about three weeks. I have most days off between now and April 1, but I do have training on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week.
I've been mostly lying in bed too much today and eating, but I have spent a few little bursts of 15-20 minutes tidying things yesterday and today, so that has been good. I have an appointment to go get my hair worked on tomorrow, but I'm still a little nervous and less sure of what I want than some previous efforts.
Last year, after my participation in Dragon Age Big Bang, I kind of stopped writing much for a long time. I spent so much time trying to get it to work and be solid, despite stress and life transitions, and then it never really got any readership except for my challenge assigned beta and artist, and it was a real kick to morale. I knew it was a rare pair, so I didn't need a lot of interaction, but it just felt like it wasn't actually for anyone, such that I kind of stopped thinking about it at all afterward and got a sort of sour taste in my mouth.
I'm participating in DABB again, but I am doing something much more safe and less ambitious, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't largely because I've remained in the community for this whole time, and they're a good group of people to hang around.
I am working on my Death Note fic, but I slowed down for about a week and a half due to end of term documentation pressures, headaches, and general malaise, but any mental malaise was mostly secondary, temporary, hormonal.
I played the recent limited event on Genshin Impact that had a lot of Mondstadt early content nostalgia, plus some character development, and I really enjoyed doing that. I also have, frankly, so many years of content to cover in Genshin that I honestly worry sometimes if I will somehow end up not finishing it before End of Service at whatever undefined point in the future, though I imagine they won't have any reason to do that until a few years after the story is completely finished, which is coming but not immediately. Star Rail is newer but still kind of daunting. Less so, though.
So, in general, I feel no particular compulsion to ever get into new video games.
However.
Recently, something alarming happened. I shared this post with a friend. I was under the impression that maybe Leon, in this context, was a Dead by Daylight specific character, but I was very vaguely familiar with Leon Kennedy from internet osmosis and being shown this video a long time ago:
My friend confirmed that Leon DBD was a guest character but was, in fact, Leon S. Kennedy (Resident Evil). My friend is a cishet guy, but he does like Leon a lot and is delighted by how the internet won't stop thirsting for him. Conversations indulging that apparently he had more of an interest in Resident Evil than I ever knew about have infected me with a blorbo-in-law infection, so I am at least vaguely considering laying RE2 and RE4 remake eventually for Leon. The thing I bought today on the Steam sale is a bundle of the two earlier remake games, so I may or may not install RE3 and play it too if I get into it. I'm a little worried that it'll be too hard or fussy for me to play, since I'm not a very skilled gamer, but I am... compelled.
I also have just been picking through the AO3 tag.
And finally, I went to see Wicked: For Good in the theater yesterday since it is finally in Japanese theaters.
I enjoyed it a lot and cried during the titular song a fair bit. I actually am surprised at how there were things about the story I didn't actually know without having seen it performed even though I knew the original Broadway soundtrack since my teens by being a teen sometimes-theater / lefty / queer kid.
tw: mention of eating disorders -- I know that during the press tour I would see all these pictures of Ariana and Cynthia and saw a lot of concern about how thin they both are and how this felt kind of like a weird symptom of American conservative and fascist leanings in the zeitgeist. I still don't know what to say about that. However, I will say that after actually watching it that one of the new, original songs for the movie, "No Place Like Home" felt pleasantly political, especially when listening back after the movie without the dialogue and context dispersed in.
Also, I am usually an Elphaba type even though I like the character relationships a lot. I get most excited when Elphaba is the lead in any scene for the character, the vibe, and the fact that her vocal part is easier for me to follow, but I feel like Ariana really surprised me with how well she did in this particular scene. It's haunting me.
Though it is, I admit, the tiniest bit unlike I anticipated / But I couldn't be happier, simply couldn't be happier / Well, not simply, 'cause getting your dreams / It's strange, but it seems a little, well... complicated / There's a kind of a sort of cost / There's a couple of things get lost / There are bridges you cross / You didn't know you crossed until you crossed / And if that joy, that thrill / Doesn't thrill like you think it will / Still, with this perfect finale / The cheers and the bally-hoo / Who wouldn't be happier? / So, I couldn't be happier / Because happy is what happens / When all your dreams come true
Kills me.
I also adore how Fiyero obviously cares about Glinda to the point that "of course he would marry her if it makes her happy" even though he's miserable without their third and really just wants both of them to run away and go find their missing girlfriend. Thropple canon in my heart.
I also watched the first episode of Frieren yesterday. Best friend asked me to. I really liked it.
I wish there were more energy and hours in the day for my various enthusiasms.
With tumblr's recent tomfoolery last week, it makes me aware that I do really want to be more active on this site and maybe to dust off trying to use pillowfort at least as a backup. I also am enchanted by the idea of having my own little webpage that is a bit more than my carrd, but I am not sure which platform I want to use. I did have a neocities account, but I feel like it's a little above my ability to envision what I want. I do know very basic stuff about HTML and CSS such that I can at least search my way through W3 School or whatever and figure out how to edit stuff, but I am not a designer without a base underneath. I have a carrd premium account because it's so cheap, but I'm not sure if it's too limited.
Thursday was the Closing Ceremony for my first full school year at the school where I currently teach. I'm proud of myself and my kids, and it's a bit bittersweet. Of course, it is a bit strange given that I will see a lot of them again in about three weeks. I have most days off between now and April 1, but I do have training on Tuesday and Wednesday of next week.
I've been mostly lying in bed too much today and eating, but I have spent a few little bursts of 15-20 minutes tidying things yesterday and today, so that has been good. I have an appointment to go get my hair worked on tomorrow, but I'm still a little nervous and less sure of what I want than some previous efforts.
Last year, after my participation in Dragon Age Big Bang, I kind of stopped writing much for a long time. I spent so much time trying to get it to work and be solid, despite stress and life transitions, and then it never really got any readership except for my challenge assigned beta and artist, and it was a real kick to morale. I knew it was a rare pair, so I didn't need a lot of interaction, but it just felt like it wasn't actually for anyone, such that I kind of stopped thinking about it at all afterward and got a sort of sour taste in my mouth.
I'm participating in DABB again, but I am doing something much more safe and less ambitious, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't largely because I've remained in the community for this whole time, and they're a good group of people to hang around.
I am working on my Death Note fic, but I slowed down for about a week and a half due to end of term documentation pressures, headaches, and general malaise, but any mental malaise was mostly secondary, temporary, hormonal.
I played the recent limited event on Genshin Impact that had a lot of Mondstadt early content nostalgia, plus some character development, and I really enjoyed doing that. I also have, frankly, so many years of content to cover in Genshin that I honestly worry sometimes if I will somehow end up not finishing it before End of Service at whatever undefined point in the future, though I imagine they won't have any reason to do that until a few years after the story is completely finished, which is coming but not immediately. Star Rail is newer but still kind of daunting. Less so, though.
So, in general, I feel no particular compulsion to ever get into new video games.
However.
Recently, something alarming happened. I shared this post with a friend. I was under the impression that maybe Leon, in this context, was a Dead by Daylight specific character, but I was very vaguely familiar with Leon Kennedy from internet osmosis and being shown this video a long time ago:
My friend confirmed that Leon DBD was a guest character but was, in fact, Leon S. Kennedy (Resident Evil). My friend is a cishet guy, but he does like Leon a lot and is delighted by how the internet won't stop thirsting for him. Conversations indulging that apparently he had more of an interest in Resident Evil than I ever knew about have infected me with a blorbo-in-law infection, so I am at least vaguely considering laying RE2 and RE4 remake eventually for Leon. The thing I bought today on the Steam sale is a bundle of the two earlier remake games, so I may or may not install RE3 and play it too if I get into it. I'm a little worried that it'll be too hard or fussy for me to play, since I'm not a very skilled gamer, but I am... compelled.
I also have just been picking through the AO3 tag.
And finally, I went to see Wicked: For Good in the theater yesterday since it is finally in Japanese theaters.
I enjoyed it a lot and cried during the titular song a fair bit. I actually am surprised at how there were things about the story I didn't actually know without having seen it performed even though I knew the original Broadway soundtrack since my teens by being a teen sometimes-theater / lefty / queer kid.
tw: mention of eating disorders -- I know that during the press tour I would see all these pictures of Ariana and Cynthia and saw a lot of concern about how thin they both are and how this felt kind of like a weird symptom of American conservative and fascist leanings in the zeitgeist. I still don't know what to say about that. However, I will say that after actually watching it that one of the new, original songs for the movie, "No Place Like Home" felt pleasantly political, especially when listening back after the movie without the dialogue and context dispersed in.
Also, I am usually an Elphaba type even though I like the character relationships a lot. I get most excited when Elphaba is the lead in any scene for the character, the vibe, and the fact that her vocal part is easier for me to follow, but I feel like Ariana really surprised me with how well she did in this particular scene. It's haunting me.
Though it is, I admit, the tiniest bit unlike I anticipated / But I couldn't be happier, simply couldn't be happier / Well, not simply, 'cause getting your dreams / It's strange, but it seems a little, well... complicated / There's a kind of a sort of cost / There's a couple of things get lost / There are bridges you cross / You didn't know you crossed until you crossed / And if that joy, that thrill / Doesn't thrill like you think it will / Still, with this perfect finale / The cheers and the bally-hoo / Who wouldn't be happier? / So, I couldn't be happier / Because happy is what happens / When all your dreams come true
Kills me.
I also adore how Fiyero obviously cares about Glinda to the point that "of course he would marry her if it makes her happy" even though he's miserable without their third and really just wants both of them to run away and go find their missing girlfriend. Thropple canon in my heart.
I also watched the first episode of Frieren yesterday. Best friend asked me to. I really liked it.
I wish there were more energy and hours in the day for my various enthusiasms.
Ms. Ellery Petrezza, in cutoffs
Mar. 20th, 2026 05:46 amraspberryrain
OK, I did a sfw version. I think the colours of the lights are the aesthetic part anyway.
tattoo & more!
Mar. 19th, 2026 10:00 amoegyeinjaeanyways, i might bee getting a tattoo today! it's not for sure i'm just trying to squeeze in after our mom gets her tattoo today (which is for sure happening today) but if i do i plan to get art rock lee tattoo. i fear my rock lee obsession is terminal and to commemorate i have to put him on my body permanently. if i can't get it today then im gonna set up an appointment for a later date so i can get it for sure.
i really want to write, but i just keep putting it off and putting it off. it's not lack of ideas but lack of motivation. it just feels like such a chore to sit down and write even though i know i'll enjoy it and i want to do it, i just can't get myself to do it
it's also our mother's birthday today! happy birthday to her, and even though she will never see this post and i've already told her irl hopefully she has a good day today. i got her supernatural coasters for her birthday, and a supernatural keychain. i think it's silly that my mother is obsessed with THE fandom ever but has no knowledge of the fandom community online, so i have weird knowledge that even she doesn't know by proxy of being chronically online.
hope everyone has a good day! i hope it is very productive for us all and i hope you all get a little treat today too.
associations...
Mar. 18th, 2026 01:05 pmoegyeinjaeeveryone in our system has different things associated with them, and sometimes it's hard to figure out what is associated with who and what is associated with just one of us. we've been trying to find a more collective identity for ourselves but that also comes with the issue of trying to understand where things we associate with ourselves starts and with which parts it ends. a really interesting way that i've found us figuring this out is by seeing ourselves collectively as a shapeshifter and then just recognizing which form each of us inhabit the most.
i notice our host has taken an association with cheetahs in a strange way. i'm not sure what that means to them as i am not them, but it is something i've noticed. i myself have noticed i have a strong affinity for wolves and dogs.
there's obviously a lot of overlap and muddy-ness between us, that's just how it's always been for us, so sometimes i do feel more of an affinity for things that aren't "my things" but noticing what things are "my things" vs others things, vs what our true collective things are is interesting and very beneficial to us.
it gives me a sense of self to have things that are just mine and idk it makes me feel better seeing myself separately from the others. i'm still us, in the same way we are all us, but that doesn't take away that i am me too.
anyways, i like wolves, i wish i could be a wolf. i feel like if i was a wolf like would definitely improve 10 folds.
i notice our host has taken an association with cheetahs in a strange way. i'm not sure what that means to them as i am not them, but it is something i've noticed. i myself have noticed i have a strong affinity for wolves and dogs.
there's obviously a lot of overlap and muddy-ness between us, that's just how it's always been for us, so sometimes i do feel more of an affinity for things that aren't "my things" but noticing what things are "my things" vs others things, vs what our true collective things are is interesting and very beneficial to us.
it gives me a sense of self to have things that are just mine and idk it makes me feel better seeing myself separately from the others. i'm still us, in the same way we are all us, but that doesn't take away that i am me too.
anyways, i like wolves, i wish i could be a wolf. i feel like if i was a wolf like would definitely improve 10 folds.
Stevie agus a claíomh i mí an Mhárta
Mar. 18th, 2026 02:54 amraspberryrain
Lá Fhéile Pádraig, 2026
Posted late, but I'm happier with this than I expected to be. And this is DAZ Studio output without postwork!
-Nia
[If you saw a previous version where she was sunken partly into the stone, hey, drop a comment. I did fix this within the hour, though.]
giggles
Mar. 17th, 2026 07:47 pmoegyeinjaei'm at totally normal guy. my hobbies include drawing rock lee, thinking about rock lee, adding more pictures to my rock lee collection, and writing fan fiction about rock lee. and sure sometimes i see a picture of rock lee and get an intense pain in my chest from how much i love him but that's a totally normal thing that totally normal guys go through. :)
